eller: iron ball (Default)
So, if you ever thought historical dueling was all about "honor" and shit, think again... and maybe take a look at this extremely amusing 1611 German illustrated treatise on rapier fencing by Michael Hundt (yes, the guy was really called that and did not speak English so he would not have been bullied over it), who has some fascinating suggestions. We'll look at some pretty funny and (more or less... okay, hopefully less) relatable situations he describes! (I'm using my own translations and not the ones provided on that site.) None of this is supposed to be combat advice, or, worse, legal advice.

The first snippet I'm going to show here describes a somewhat unpleasant situation that's probably self-defense, unless the author himself started the fight. Context: Mike Hunt (:p) is talking about a hateful (that is, "real" and not regulated) fight that breaks out, and everyone is wearing different weapons, so there are no clear rules of engagement. Mike Hunt (:p) has, however, a good reason to assume his opponent is superior at whatever bladed weapon they are brandishing.

"
[...]und der eine hat nichts darinnen gelernet: So nemen E.G. an stat des Dolches ein kurz Rohr, allda wird sichs wol außweisen, was das beste bey der fache thut, oder nicht, Wo nich gleiche Wehren für dem Manne gebrauchet werden, denn in der noth muß man brauchen, was man erdencken kan [...]
"
([...]and one has learned nothing in it: so Y.G. take instead of the dagger a short barreled weapon, and it will become clear what works best in that case, or no, where not same defenses are used by men, because in an emergency one must use whatever one can think of)


Very pragmatic, that. "Just shoot him if you know you can't beat him in a bladed fight" is such a charming and down-to-earth approach to the problem! Not necessarily one the guys who obsessed over honor would approve of... but I think that shit is typically reeeeallly exaggerated in "historical" and fantasy novels, and most real people also would have chosen survival.

Generally, many situations Mike Hunt (:p) describes are much closer to self-defense than what today's writers understand as a "duel".

"
Es kömpt bisweilen, das einer bey der Nacht von etlichen angegriffen wird, es sey wo es wolle, bißweilen von vier auch von fünf oder mehr Personen, und wird mancher also uberfallen, daß es ihme sein Leib und Leben kostet, und forderlich, wenn einer sich bey der Nacht wil auff die Bulschafft begeben, do offt ein ander ihme auff den Dienst wartet, wie es denn wol bißweilen kommen kan, so thunn E.G. ein ding, und verwaren sich mit einem guten Rappier. Werden aber E.G. im heimgehen uberfallen, von den ganzen Hauffen der Feinde, so nemen E.G. das Rappier zu beyden Feusten, und schiessen es nach dem nazen hauffen, und sehen hernach, wo E.G. weiter können schuz erlangen, Denn nith bricht bißweilen Eysen, ehe man das Leben dahin giebet.
"
(It sometimes happens that one is attacked at night by several, no matter where, occasionally by four or five or more persons, and some people are ambushed in a way that costs them body and life, so if you are out at night in order to have an affair, and someone else is lying in wait for him as can happen sometimes, so do a thing and defend yourself with a good rapier. But if Y.G. is attacked while going home, by the whole group of enemies, you Y.G. take the rapier in both fists, throw it into the whole group, and afterwards see about getting safety. Because sometimes necessity breaks iron before you give life away.)


Yep. If you're ever attacked by a group of thugs while you just wanted to go and, uh... Look, this is reeeeaaally ambiguously phrased, and unless I'm very wrong about this man's mindset, this is entirely intentional. He's either out at night to visit a lover or to have intercourse in public. (With this guy, it's probably the latter, but there's just enough plausible deniability.) Either way, he's describing something that's clearly a genuine self-defense situation. "Throw your rapier at them and run" sounds like excellent advice when faced with multiple attackers, too.

Some other situations are just what you'd expect in a modern German bar fight. (Some things never change.) Mike Hunt (:p) is, of course, perfectly aware of the oldest trick in the book!

"
Wollen E.Gn. einem ein bossen reissen, es sey im fechten oder im balgen, im Dolch unnd Rappier zugleich, so brauchen E.G. nicht mehr, als diese wort, ich balge mich nicht mit ihr zweyten, sondern mur mit einem, und sich der wil umbsehen, so kömpt er zu kurz, und können ihn E.Gn. durch und durch stossen, auch ihn um hawen verleßen, wenn er nicht recht ist vor der Thür gewesen, und heisset recht: Biete dinem Feinde das Gesichte, trawe ihme nicht zu viel, das heist recht verführet, im fechten und im balgen, man kan es auch aunem aus kurzweile thun, wann E.G. lust zu einem haben im fechten, aber un der noth und in grossen unfällen ist dieses stück auch gut zugebrauchen.
"
(If Y.G. wishes to trick someone, whether it's in fencing or in grappling, same for dagger or rapier, so Y.G. does not need more than this word, "I will not fight you two but only one", and he wants to turn and look, so he comes up short and Y.G. can stab him through and through, or strike him down when he was not right at the door, and it is said correctly: "Face the enemy, don't trust him too much", this is a proper deception both in fencing and in grappling, you can also do it for fun if you are yearning for a fight, but in trouble and great emergencies this piece is also useful.)


If you now suspect that Mike Hunt (:p), who apparently not only stabbed people from behind for fun (let's be clear: that's not self-defense, that's just murder), but actually thought to publish the suggestion in an instruction manual (I think this, at least, is really just German humor and not a genuine suggestion... look, one can hope, right?), was generally not necessarily the most law-abiding guy ever...

"
Sehen E.G. daß einer mit einem Flegel bey der Nacht zu ir kömpt, vö wil nach E.G. schlagen (wie es denn bißweilen der gebrauch ist auff Universiteten, wenn man von Tische gehen, und von der Wache wird angegriffen, wenn offt einer etwas zuvor bey der Wache gethan hat, und ein anderer kömpt [...]
"
(If Y.G. sees that someone goes after you with a flail at night, and wants to hit Y.G. (as occasionally happens at universities, when you leave the table, and you are attacked by the guard, because often one has previously done something to the guard, and another comes [...])


...you might be correct. The guy this just occasionally happened to is, however, an excellent resource, providing priceless advice. (The actual fencing advice is less interesting, though - looks solid as far as I can tell without ever having used a real rapier, no obvious nonsense like in some other pamphlets of the time - but you find the same information also in other old publications... And the illustrations are clearly more interested in fashion design than fencing, which makes the whole thing hilarious.) By the way, he's also describing the classic "brick in a sock" (well, a bag of stones, but same thing) as "sometimes superior to three or four bare rapiers". That bag of stones would not have shown up in a "honorable" duel, either, but Mike Hunt (:p) values practicality over formality. (The whole thing just screams North German, right? Well. Mike Hunt (:p) was from what's Saxony-Anhalt today.) Strong reading recommendation! :)
eller: iron ball (Default)
For a really good joke, I have a strong reading recommendation for my fellow computing freaks as well as anyone even remotely into math. (Starting page 199, 'Quantum Disavantage') It's a lovely response to the guys at IBM (Kim et al., 2023) who did a quantum computing thingy that got quite a lot of media attention. They also claimed it was impossible to do this stuff on a 'regular' computer, which was refuted within days and caused a few shitstorms (not least because it's rude to publish this kind of claim in Nature without releasing a preprint on arXiv first... Manners, manners!) in the modeller scene. Now, someone... took this as an opportunity to bring out the good old Commodore 64 for entertainment. I love it. It's totally worth it for the photo of the 'experimental setup' alone, but really, the whole thing is quite funny. (Of course, anything published by The Association for Computational Heresy usually is.)  :D :D :D

Also found in the same volume (page 398 ff) is a really lovely Toki Pona paper ('Toki Pona and Orders of Semantic Completeness') - everybody's favorite language, right?!?

Hellebore

Apr. 2nd, 2024 10:56 pm
eller: iron ball (Default)
...because I needed to do something with that PV15 (a color I don't use very often), and not many flowers come in this muted pink color. In German, this plant is called 'Nieswurz' (sneeze root) because powder made from the subterranen parts of the plant makes people sneeze. With words like this, I always wonder who the f*ck tried that for the first time. It's all for the science?!?



Materials I used:
Stillman&Birn Zeta Series sketchbook (270 g/m²)
Watercolors: Turner Permanent Lemon (PY109), Mijello Bamboo Green (PG36), QoR Ultramarine Pink (PV15), ShinHan PWC Cerulean Blue (PB35), Rembrandt Spinel Grey (PBk26)
White gel pen (Pentel)

eller: iron ball (Default)
I just noticed it's been two years since my last Nibelungenlied post, which provided a translation of Kriemhild's introduction to the poem's audience. Whoopsie! Of course, the poem goes on... And you can happily ignore this if you're not into snarky Middle High German poetry. However, you know I'm a fan. XD

Anyway: we've just met Kriemhild, who's been introduced in a heavily sarcastic way using a clusterf*ck of passive verb forms that are not typical for the language, and which serve to veil the fact that Kriemhild is - of course - very very active. No one in the 1200s expected that of a heroine, but we'll need to remember that this poem was not a new story but rather a retelling (with some changes) of Norse mythology. Some people in the audience knew what to expect and would have gotten a good laugh at the way her introduction was phrased.

Now that Kriemhild has been established as the main protagonist, the poem introduces her brothers in a similarly nasty (or even nastier?) way.

Ir pflagen dri kunige edel unde rich, - Three kings, noble and mighty, took care of her:
Gunther unde Gernot, die recken lobelich, - Gunther and Gernot, the laudable warriors,
und Giselher der junge, ein ûz erwelter degen. - and Giselher the young, a distinguished knight.
diu frouwe was ir swester. die fürsten hetens in ir pflegen. - The lady was their sister. The lords had her in their care.

Oooooookay. On the surface, it all sounds normal enough: in the absence of a father (which is not discussed here, but implied), an unmarried young noblewoman may well have been the ward of her brothers. However, the details here are quite explosive.

'dri kunige': NO NO NOOOO you don't have three kings. Technically, only one guy (here: Gunther) is king and would have outranked his brothers! Introducing these three as done here already implies (which is, of course, confirmed later) Gunther is a weak king who doesn't control his subordinates the way he's supposed to. In short: this is a constellation that can and will blow up a whole court. It's a disaster waiting to happen.

'edel unde rich': Oh, LOL!!!! This is one of my favorite puns in the whole poem! The most obvious translation (which, I think, most professional translators went for) is 'noble and mighty'. Neither is unexpected for a king and his brothers. It's, basically, a trope - and also appears in other medieval poems. However, if we pronounce 'rich' slighty differently - only the tiniest bit - it can also be a form of the verb 'taking revenge' (though it would be an unusual choice of word form indeed, but, hey). Oh. WAIT. Was there something?!? This needs to be translated very carefully... Actually, each of the words in this little, brilliant construct, has (at least) two possible meanings! 'edel' usually means 'noble' (which is the expected meaning when talking about, well, noblemen), but is also (rarely... VERY rarely) used as an amplifier - something like 'especially' or 'the greatest'. (There's a similar use in Low Saxon.) 'unde' means 'and', but also the preposition 'under' (including in the figurative sense, like in 'under siege'). and 'rich'... Well, I already explained that. So, the phrase COULD be translated as 'under the greatest (kind of) revenge'. Is this a bit of a spoiler? Yes. Yes, it is. Also, I firmly believe every listener who knew the Norse stories would have cracked up right here... And the rest of the audience would have had no idea why these people were laughing. (It's a weird construct, grammatically very unlikely, and basically, you only find this meaning if you already know what to look for. However, given the nature of the text, I'm sure Unknown Author was aware of it. Unknown Author was good with nasty puns, generally speaking. This isn't an accident.)

'pflagen' and 'in ir pflegen': Sarcastic overemphasis by using the same word twice, once as a verb and once and a noun... Of course, the three kings one king and two disrespectful brothers are doing a shitty job taking care of Kriemhild. (They conspire to murder her husband and steal her gold. I mean, how could it get any worse? Oh, yeah, Gunther slept with her husband in a super weird kinky threesome before deciding to have him killed. THAT'S how it can get even worse. What a family!) Anyway, I'm quite sure the repetition is intentional. Unknown Author was trying to make a point.

Yeah... FUN!
eller: iron ball (Default)
I’m re-reading the Nibelungenlied! Again! It’s not as if I’d know large parts of it by heart by now, noooooo…. :D I decided to post this because I can’t help it, I always laugh out loud at Kriemhild’s character introduction. (Very free translation by me – the grammar with its passive structures doesn’t have a direct equivalent in English that doesn't sound horribly clunky, so please don’t take this as a lecture in Middle High German! I'm trying for "makes sense" rather than "correct".)

Ez wuohs in Burgonden ein vil edel magedîn - There grew up, in Burgundy, a very noble maid
daz in allen landen niht schoeners mohte sîn, - so there could have been none more beautiful anywhere*,  
Kriemhild geheizen, si wart ein schoene wîp, - called Kriemhild, she became a beautiful woman
darumbe mousen degene vil verliesen den lîp. - because of whom many heroes** had to lose their life***.   

*in all countries|places - basically, she's the world's most beautiful woman.
**degen: boy, man, fighter, warrior, hero. In the Nibelungenlied, it's typically used to refer to the male heroic characters, so I chose to translate it as "hero" rather than just "man" although both would be technically correct. It's the context.
***or: lose the body;
lîp can refer to both. I chose the one that makes more sense in English. Either way: they die.

LOLOLOL

This is, of course, heavy sarcasm - and an intentional play with genre tropes. (Throughout the whole text, Unknown Author shows a deep knowledge of what the audience is expecting… While subverting it in creative ways. It’s one of the things that make the poem so much fun!)

Here, the audience expects the introduction of the main female character of a classic adventure story of the time. Unknown Author clearly was having some fun with introducing our (anti-)heroine Kriemhild! She’s beautiful beyond compare (Of course! Somehow, ladies in epic poetry always are!) and, by emphasizing that, the author intentionally sets her up as a conventional medieval heroine while nevertheless foreshadowing the bloody events to follow. Basically, the medieval audience is led to believe that the knights will have to go on some kind of lethally dangerous quest for her sake, to save her or to win her love or whatever. Maybe fight each other over her, too. That’s what usually happens in these stories when a legendarily beautiful woman is mentioned! So, the listeners won’t expect that beautiful young noblewoman herself going on a murder spree (and, indeed, cause the death of many heroes that way)… Ah, I love it when poets possess a healthy sense of humor.

[Also, I strongly suspect the extreme (and, unfortunately, hard-to-translate) use of passive voice in this stanza is chosen intentionally for the same reason: to obfuscate the fact Kriemhild is extremely active when it comes to murder driving the plot. Maximal contrast! Is snarky grammar a thing? Because these are some of the most ironic verb forms I've ever seen, and I don't think they're a lucky accident.]

It’s notable that female characters rarely had their own agenda in fiction of that time, so having a female lead character – who does her own killing, too – is highly unusual. Ladies usually appear as the one to be saved, the one to be married, the one sending the hero off to have the actual adventure… You know it. And yet, Kriemhild is an independent character with not only opinions on what the male characters are doing, but with her own plotline. (Oh, and she's the first of the main cast to be introduced, too! By medieval epic poetry conventions, that makes her the main main character, the one who the whole poem is about.)

And she’s a worthy opponent for Hagen, who is seriously badass himself. (By the way, having a deadly conflict between a female and a male character who are equally matched and also equally amoral, and not judged by different standards for that is another genre transgression. Unknown Author is good at those.) While I don’t actually like Kriemhild as a person, I… appreciate her existence in medieval literature.

I maintain this is the coolest character intro, ever.

Profile

eller: iron ball (Default)
eller

December 2025

S M T W T F S
 1 23456
78910111213
14151617181920
21222324252627
28293031   

Syndicate

RSS Atom

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Dec. 26th, 2025 08:58 pm
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios