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ellerAccording to archaeology, everything has "religious reasons" anyway - but, this time, I'm going to review a shitty knife that really has a folk magic background. That's... not entirely uncommon in Northern Europe, and in many cultures you will find folk beliefs around knives, as well as dual-use knives with worldly purposes as well as an inbuilt anti-evil-spirit function. They're actually kind of hard to avoid unless you stick to the factory-made stuff. (Most knifemakers take pride in making knives that keep their customers safe, and in many European cultures this can include spiritual protection. I'm on the team of: that's nice, I appreciate the thought, as long as it doesn't interfere with the worldly stuff I want the knife for.)
This, uh, fascinating pocketknife is from Bavaria (Southern Germany), made by a lady with a Bavarian name, using Bavarian magic symbolism, and sold with a product description that explicitly listed "protection from evil" - so, Bavarian magic knife, yay! (I'm not a Bavarian, but I know enough about that culture to recognize some of their folk magic elements. Also: they're not what makes it a shitty knife.)
A note about cultural sensitivity: I will be mocking this knife-shaped object quite mercilessly, but not because it works on local Bavarian evil spirits. I'm mocking it because it works on nothing but local Bavarian evil spirits (and maybe some very soft cheese).
Let's take a look!
The first visual impression is kind of okay-ish: I have questions about the placement of those bolts, but I'm sure the designer did some careful calculations to identify these as the most stable positions. (Right? Or maybe the placement is for religious reasons...) Also, the pseudo smith marks (actually filed) on the blade nicely take up the pattern of the handle's grip aids (and who doesn't love excessive grip aids?) - it's very pretty.
A really nice thing about this knife is also that this thing is woman-sized. I forgot to put a pencil as size comparison, but with a blade length of 75mm, it's actually tiny. That's (unironically) great. I have tiny hands.
In unfolded state, you also see the dual-use extra feature I was talking about: the symbol on the blade (and also stamped into the sheath) is not only the maker's mark (though apparently she uses it as such) but a Drudengatterl, which is a magical sign (occasionally mistaken for a rune, but it's really not!) that keeps away drudes. I have to say I'm a bit surprised to see a drude gate (the sign has to be read in the orientation as seen on the sheath in the first picture, and is the symbol of the closed/blocked cattle gate - you also sometimes find them not drawn as a pictogram but built from wooden sticks, so the fence gate symbolism is even clearer) on the blade instead of the handle. That's atypical, but apparently, there's some flexibility when it comes to the placement. (And anyway, I'm not going to tell Bavarians where they should put their anti-drude symbols.)
What's a drude? Um. That's a kind of evil spirit they have down in Bavaria. Also, some women get cursed and have to work as evil spirits who cause nightmares - nasty business, that. The local population, of course, found ways to deal with that threat. This knife is a prime example - the fact that it has a black handle is also magically significant in ways I unfortunately don't fully understand. Another typical way of dual-use knives in Germany would be the nine crosses and nine moons on the blade - I think that's seen even more often, and the pattern has even spread beyond the "Weißwurstäquator" (that is, the cultural boundary between South and North Germany). But, of course, a Drudengatterl is perfectly fine. I've also seen these features combined - the crosses and moons on the blade and the Drudengatterl on the handle - which seems like overkill: I almost feel sorry for the drudes...
I haven't tested the feature because we don't have any drudes in Northern Germany, but in favor of the maker, I'm going to assume that this, at least, works as intended. I feel perfectly safe going to sleep without fearing the drudes. (If I ever get attacked by a drude and the knife doesn't help, I'm going to demand my money back, though.)
You also traditionally put a knife like this in the cradle of a new-born child. In that case, it absolutely has to be a folding knife, too - though, not being Bavarian and all that, I'm unsure whether that's due to the specific magical properties of folding knives or due to more worldly considerations about open blades in the close vicinity of babies. I suspect the latter.
View from above: let's just admire the precision in which everything is assembled! Also, if you look at the wavy spine profile of that blade and wonder whether those deep pseudo-smithing-marks create, ahem, predetermined breaking points, never fear: no matter how weird the blade geometry, it's a folding knife (and a badly-made one), so it will break at the joint first, anyway. You see, it's perfectly safe! :)
Just, please, don't try to cut anything harder than very soft cheese. And wear gloves and goggles while you do.
Last but not least, let's take a look at the implementation of the locking mechanism. Yes, that's sticking out at least a millimeter. (I could file it down, of course, but where's the fun in that?) Yes, that's a position in which most grips need to put a finger. Yes, it will draw blood. Which could be a useful feature on another kind of magical knife - you know, the one designed for magical techniques that require some blood sacrifice - but, because this is not that kind of magical knife (at least, I don't think so), I'll unfortunately have to consider it... Well. I'm afraid that, unless Bavarian knifebuilding standards extremely deviate from the rest of Europe...
It's just shitty work. The design? Shitty. The execution of said design? Shitty. The useability? Shitty. (And downright dangerous.) This definitely qualifies as a shitty knife all around (except maybe for the magic). I love it.
This, uh, fascinating pocketknife is from Bavaria (Southern Germany), made by a lady with a Bavarian name, using Bavarian magic symbolism, and sold with a product description that explicitly listed "protection from evil" - so, Bavarian magic knife, yay! (I'm not a Bavarian, but I know enough about that culture to recognize some of their folk magic elements. Also: they're not what makes it a shitty knife.)
A note about cultural sensitivity: I will be mocking this knife-shaped object quite mercilessly, but not because it works on local Bavarian evil spirits. I'm mocking it because it works on nothing but local Bavarian evil spirits (and maybe some very soft cheese).
Let's take a look!
The first visual impression is kind of okay-ish: I have questions about the placement of those bolts, but I'm sure the designer did some careful calculations to identify these as the most stable positions. (Right? Or maybe the placement is for religious reasons...) Also, the pseudo smith marks (actually filed) on the blade nicely take up the pattern of the handle's grip aids (and who doesn't love excessive grip aids?) - it's very pretty.
A really nice thing about this knife is also that this thing is woman-sized. I forgot to put a pencil as size comparison, but with a blade length of 75mm, it's actually tiny. That's (unironically) great. I have tiny hands.
In unfolded state, you also see the dual-use extra feature I was talking about: the symbol on the blade (and also stamped into the sheath) is not only the maker's mark (though apparently she uses it as such) but a Drudengatterl, which is a magical sign (occasionally mistaken for a rune, but it's really not!) that keeps away drudes. I have to say I'm a bit surprised to see a drude gate (the sign has to be read in the orientation as seen on the sheath in the first picture, and is the symbol of the closed/blocked cattle gate - you also sometimes find them not drawn as a pictogram but built from wooden sticks, so the fence gate symbolism is even clearer) on the blade instead of the handle. That's atypical, but apparently, there's some flexibility when it comes to the placement. (And anyway, I'm not going to tell Bavarians where they should put their anti-drude symbols.)
What's a drude? Um. That's a kind of evil spirit they have down in Bavaria. Also, some women get cursed and have to work as evil spirits who cause nightmares - nasty business, that. The local population, of course, found ways to deal with that threat. This knife is a prime example - the fact that it has a black handle is also magically significant in ways I unfortunately don't fully understand. Another typical way of dual-use knives in Germany would be the nine crosses and nine moons on the blade - I think that's seen even more often, and the pattern has even spread beyond the "Weißwurstäquator" (that is, the cultural boundary between South and North Germany). But, of course, a Drudengatterl is perfectly fine. I've also seen these features combined - the crosses and moons on the blade and the Drudengatterl on the handle - which seems like overkill: I almost feel sorry for the drudes...
I haven't tested the feature because we don't have any drudes in Northern Germany, but in favor of the maker, I'm going to assume that this, at least, works as intended. I feel perfectly safe going to sleep without fearing the drudes. (If I ever get attacked by a drude and the knife doesn't help, I'm going to demand my money back, though.)
You also traditionally put a knife like this in the cradle of a new-born child. In that case, it absolutely has to be a folding knife, too - though, not being Bavarian and all that, I'm unsure whether that's due to the specific magical properties of folding knives or due to more worldly considerations about open blades in the close vicinity of babies. I suspect the latter.
View from above: let's just admire the precision in which everything is assembled! Also, if you look at the wavy spine profile of that blade and wonder whether those deep pseudo-smithing-marks create, ahem, predetermined breaking points, never fear: no matter how weird the blade geometry, it's a folding knife (and a badly-made one), so it will break at the joint first, anyway. You see, it's perfectly safe! :)
Just, please, don't try to cut anything harder than very soft cheese. And wear gloves and goggles while you do.
Last but not least, let's take a look at the implementation of the locking mechanism. Yes, that's sticking out at least a millimeter. (I could file it down, of course, but where's the fun in that?) Yes, that's a position in which most grips need to put a finger. Yes, it will draw blood. Which could be a useful feature on another kind of magical knife - you know, the one designed for magical techniques that require some blood sacrifice - but, because this is not that kind of magical knife (at least, I don't think so), I'll unfortunately have to consider it... Well. I'm afraid that, unless Bavarian knifebuilding standards extremely deviate from the rest of Europe...
It's just shitty work. The design? Shitty. The execution of said design? Shitty. The useability? Shitty. (And downright dangerous.) This definitely qualifies as a shitty knife all around (except maybe for the magic). I love it.
