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ellerToday's shitty knife is an authentic example of North German knife culture (which deserves the name 'culture' about as much as bacteria in a fucking yogurt). Of course, the typical North German 'working knife' is rather flexible in shape and material. Being able to make your own knives is considered a source of pride and joy. (Historically, it also used to be way to save money, because hey, large regions of Northern Germany are traditionally dirt poor. These days, it's mostly hobby, tradition, and a nice way to pass the time.)
People like to improvise.
[Cultural note: please don't confuse these with prison knives - the only thing these cultural phenomena have in common is that they're highly improvisational. Prison knives tend to be optimized for concealability, though. (Which means too-thin handles, which means different knife technique, which means you can easily identify kids who've been in juvenile detention by the way they hold a blade... never mind.) Most of them are also illegal where I live (because knives disguised as other objects are considered illegal weapons), so, you won't see me writing about toothbrush blades or alternative coin use anytime soon. I don't own this stuff. Also, prison knives don't really qualify as 'shitty knives' because they're mainly limited by material availability, nothuman idiocy bad knifemaking skills. Some constructs are quite impressive, all things considered.]
So, uh, what do we have here?
To be fair, this is actually one of the better examples, despite being made by a hobbyist.
The handle is old oak from the remains of an old Fachwerk house that could not be saved (I think I've talked about the North German approach towards architecture before: anything that can still be used will be used, no matter how old); none of that wood is ever wasted - the larger pieces become furniture, and the smaller ones may just end up as knife handles. It's done ageing (it's almost fossilized; wait, scratch the 'almost' in bog areas: bog wood is a thing, and old North German houses are well on their way of turning into that because of the chemical composition of fog and rain) and very stable. So, that's extremely valuable wood.
[Cultural note: of course, knives with oak handles also have historical significance. Germans have always liked their oaks. This is the appropriate place for some tree-worshipping jokes... Never mind.]
The blade, according to the maker, is an old car spring. (I have no idea what type of steel that is. Just, whatever it is, it was not a good choice for a knife. Could be much worse, though.) That's actually not all that unusual: it's a bit thin for a good blade (yes, this one is too thin as well), but, well, it's steel. If I have to choose, I prefer old files, though. (Actually, there's a serious hypothesis that the rhombic blade shapes I prefer evolved from people using old files as their source material for blades.) Car springs are, well, springy, which is not a bad thing - but also, they don't hold an edge very well, which means you have to sharpen this type of knife all the fucking time.
I have no words for the quality of the bladesmithing. I doubt this thing has seen any kind of appropriate heat treatment, either.
The blade is, ahem, expertly fitted into the handle. That is, uhm, the resulting space from not getting it to fit was filled with... something. Resin? Superglue? I think it's superglue. Yeah. Awesome.
...and this is a picture of the edge. Nice and wavy... Uh. Cutting anything with this is no fun. :/ It's also dangerous, because a wavy edge on a very springy blade is kind of difficult to control.
In case you were wondering: the tiny notch between blade and handle is a grinding notch that supposedly makes knives easier to sharpen. (In this case, because the thing doesn't hold a fucking edge, you have to sharpen it very often.) It's also very characteristic of North German knives. Otherwise, the shape is very similar to a Swedish slöjd knife, but the symmetrically oval handle and the presence of a grinding notch are at least an indication (not definite proof, though: I'm sure there are Swedes who like grinding notches, and, well, there's at least one North German who fucking hates grinding notches because they ruin the best cutting part of the edge) of this knife-shaped object being North German.
So, uh, how does this knife hold up in practical use? BADLY. It can't be used on anything hard (because, hey, it's literally held together by superglue), and it needs constant sharpening even when only used on cardboard (which is what I'm using it for; it's my 'office knife'). It sucks. But also, for that, I use it quite often... Mhhhh. I guess it's really a cultural thing. XD
People like to improvise.
[Cultural note: please don't confuse these with prison knives - the only thing these cultural phenomena have in common is that they're highly improvisational. Prison knives tend to be optimized for concealability, though. (Which means too-thin handles, which means different knife technique, which means you can easily identify kids who've been in juvenile detention by the way they hold a blade... never mind.) Most of them are also illegal where I live (because knives disguised as other objects are considered illegal weapons), so, you won't see me writing about toothbrush blades or alternative coin use anytime soon. I don't own this stuff. Also, prison knives don't really qualify as 'shitty knives' because they're mainly limited by material availability, not
So, uh, what do we have here?
To be fair, this is actually one of the better examples, despite being made by a hobbyist.
The handle is old oak from the remains of an old Fachwerk house that could not be saved (I think I've talked about the North German approach towards architecture before: anything that can still be used will be used, no matter how old); none of that wood is ever wasted - the larger pieces become furniture, and the smaller ones may just end up as knife handles. It's done ageing (it's almost fossilized; wait, scratch the 'almost' in bog areas: bog wood is a thing, and old North German houses are well on their way of turning into that because of the chemical composition of fog and rain) and very stable. So, that's extremely valuable wood.
[Cultural note: of course, knives with oak handles also have historical significance. Germans have always liked their oaks. This is the appropriate place for some tree-worshipping jokes... Never mind.]
The blade, according to the maker, is an old car spring. (I have no idea what type of steel that is. Just, whatever it is, it was not a good choice for a knife. Could be much worse, though.) That's actually not all that unusual: it's a bit thin for a good blade (yes, this one is too thin as well), but, well, it's steel. If I have to choose, I prefer old files, though. (Actually, there's a serious hypothesis that the rhombic blade shapes I prefer evolved from people using old files as their source material for blades.) Car springs are, well, springy, which is not a bad thing - but also, they don't hold an edge very well, which means you have to sharpen this type of knife all the fucking time.
I have no words for the quality of the bladesmithing. I doubt this thing has seen any kind of appropriate heat treatment, either.
The blade is, ahem, expertly fitted into the handle. That is, uhm, the resulting space from not getting it to fit was filled with... something. Resin? Superglue? I think it's superglue. Yeah. Awesome.
...and this is a picture of the edge. Nice and wavy... Uh. Cutting anything with this is no fun. :/ It's also dangerous, because a wavy edge on a very springy blade is kind of difficult to control.
In case you were wondering: the tiny notch between blade and handle is a grinding notch that supposedly makes knives easier to sharpen. (In this case, because the thing doesn't hold a fucking edge, you have to sharpen it very often.) It's also very characteristic of North German knives. Otherwise, the shape is very similar to a Swedish slöjd knife, but the symmetrically oval handle and the presence of a grinding notch are at least an indication (not definite proof, though: I'm sure there are Swedes who like grinding notches, and, well, there's at least one North German who fucking hates grinding notches because they ruin the best cutting part of the edge) of this knife-shaped object being North German.
So, uh, how does this knife hold up in practical use? BADLY. It can't be used on anything hard (because, hey, it's literally held together by superglue), and it needs constant sharpening even when only used on cardboard (which is what I'm using it for; it's my 'office knife'). It sucks. But also, for that, I use it quite often... Mhhhh. I guess it's really a cultural thing. XD
